Femtafdan is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, conceited lizard.

Femtafdan created the world seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Femtafdan, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Femtafdan, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Femtafdan's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Femtafdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention mice.

2. Do not take Femtafdan's name in vain.

3. Femtafdan must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Respect your elders.