Stigtadxuck is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, clever grasshopper.

Stigtadxuck created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Stigtadxuck, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Stigtadxuck, he will turn you into a hamster.

Stigtadxuck's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Stigtadxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Stigtadxuck.

2. Never run near snakes.

3. Rats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Never talk about fire.