Vegcarhen is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, duplicitous mongoose.

Vegcarhen created the Cigar Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vegcarhen, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Vegcarhen, it will turn you into a hamster.

Vegcarhen's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Vegcarhen's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Never feed aubergines to otters while wearing white coats.

5. Do not shave your head.