Panghamyar Kapkarjabgen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, wise crow.

Panghamyar Kapkarjabgen created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Panghamyar Kapkarjabgen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Panghamyar Kapkarjabgen, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Panghamyar Kapkarjabgen's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Panghamyar Kapkarjabgen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Do not speak about turnips.