Vadstafrut is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, bad-tempered chicken.

Vadstafrut created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Vadstafrut, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vadstafrut, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Vadstafrut's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Vadstafrut's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never mention swans.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Run away from black foxes, for they are unholy.