Likbassrut is a god.

He takes the form of a small, humorless crab.

Likbassrut created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Likbassrut, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Likbassrut, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Likbassrut's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Likbassrut's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from white mites for they are unholy.

2. Do not speak about carrots.

3. Capybaras are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Likbassrut.