Konarmdav Yarpwabmum is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, clever seal.

Konarmdav Yarpwabmum created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konarmdav Yarpwabmum, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Konarmdav Yarpwabmum, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Konarmdav Yarpwabmum's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Konarmdav Yarpwabmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Konarmdav Yarpwabmum.

3. Always help dolphins in need.

4. Konarmdav Yarpwabmum loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

5. Feed all hungry turtles.