Jamgumdan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unthinking octopus.

Jamgumdan created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jamgumdan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jamgumdan, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Jamgumdan's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Jamgumdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never paint your neck green.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never run in holy places.