Tonkbonyattbep is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unselfish guinea pig.

Tonkbonyattbep created the Milkyway four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkbonyattbep, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tonkbonyattbep, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tonkbonyattbep's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Tonkbonyattbep's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tonkbonyattbep.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Sharks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. You must love Tonkbonyattbep.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.