Sakhamrut is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, slow fish.

Sakhamrut created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakhamrut, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sakhamrut, she will torture you forever.

Sakhamrut's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Sakhamrut's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Sakhamrut.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never hurt voles.

4. Always help sick badgers.

5. You must pray to Sakhamrut six times a day.