Satruttont is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, emotional goblin.

Satruttont created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Satruttont, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Satruttont, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Satruttont's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Satruttont's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about comets.