Bedgunpop is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, deceitful slug.

Bedgunpop created light two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedgunpop, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bedgunpop, she will turn you into a mouse.

Bedgunpop's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Bedgunpop's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bedgunpop.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think ill of sick horses.