Ganfotzak is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, pitiless scorpion.

Ganfotzak created the Andromeda Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ganfotzak, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ganfotzak, she will turn you into a dog.

Ganfotzak's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Ganfotzak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Ganfotzak on top of all buildings.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Do not take Ganfotzak's name in vain.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.