Ditgadfat Kabgilhap is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unthoughtful fish.

Ditgadfat Kabgilhap created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ditgadfat Kabgilhap, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ditgadfat Kabgilhap, it will boil you in a big pot.

Ditgadfat Kabgilhap's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Ditgadfat Kabgilhap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sheep.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think ill of sick great tits.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not take Ditgadfat Kabgilhap's name in vain.