Larntifcum is a god.

She takes the form of a large, effective skunk.

Larntifcum created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larntifcum, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Larntifcum, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Larntifcum's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Larntifcum's Holy Commandments

1. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

2. You must love Larntifcum.

3. Always look after injured gulls.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Larntifcum.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.