Japtargwan is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, tiresome parrot.

Japtargwan created a bottom quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Japtargwan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Japtargwan, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Japtargwan's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Japtargwan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Do not take Japtargwan's name in vain.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Always treat turtles with great respect.

5. Do not shave your head.