Doncetfig is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, duplicitous pigeon.

Doncetfig created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Doncetfig, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Doncetfig, she will torture you forever.

Doncetfig's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Doncetfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Feed all hungry manatees.

3. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

4. Never mention great tits.

5. Always pray immersed in water.