Pakbissvenmat is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish goose.

Pakbissvenmat created gold seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakbissvenmat, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pakbissvenmat, she will turn you into a rat.

Pakbissvenmat's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Pakbissvenmat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Put Pakbissvenmat first in all things.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.