Bentonkyik is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, merciful mongoose.

Bentonkyik created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bentonkyik, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bentonkyik, he will throw large rocks at you.

Bentonkyik's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Bentonkyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Hide if eight whales approach from the east.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about moons.