Tapjabxem is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, selfish octopus.

Tapjabxem created the solar system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tapjabxem, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tapjabxem, it will cry a lot.

Tapjabxem's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Tapjabxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Never paint your face brown.

3. Feed all hungry sharks.

4. Tapjabxem loves ducks, so they must be respected.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.