Guplarpont Bissmetkin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, merciless wren.

Guplarpont Bissmetkin created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Guplarpont Bissmetkin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Guplarpont Bissmetkin, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Guplarpont Bissmetkin's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Guplarpont Bissmetkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Guplarpont Bissmetkin.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Do not take Guplarpont Bissmetkin's name in vain.