Pagtoffun is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, emotional coyote.

Pagtoffun created matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pagtoffun, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pagtoffun, it will turn you into a dog.

Pagtoffun's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Pagtoffun's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into fawn rooms.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never mention grasshopers.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.