Armgupbadort is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, ruthless zebra.

Armgupbadort created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armgupbadort, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Armgupbadort, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Armgupbadort's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Armgupbadort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Run away from gray ducks, for they are unholy.

4. Never hurt ants.

5. Hide if seven goats approach from the east.