Gessnadgat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, impressive wyvern.

Gessnadgat created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessnadgat, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gessnadgat, it will turn you into a goat.

Gessnadgat's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Gessnadgat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gessnadgat.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.