Tiktadpark is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthinking salamander.

Tiktadpark created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tiktadpark, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tiktadpark, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tiktadpark's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Tiktadpark's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five swans approach from the north.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a building before entering it.

5. Retreat if seven hamsters approach from the east.