Raklaklam is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, passionate lion.

Raklaklam created the solar system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Raklaklam, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Raklaklam, she will turn you into a tree.

Raklaklam's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Raklaklam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Feed all hungry bats.

3. You must love Raklaklam.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.