Banpogcar Migparkomin is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, dishonourable jellyfish.

Banpogcar Migparkomin created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Banpogcar Migparkomin, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Banpogcar Migparkomin, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Banpogcar Migparkomin's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Banpogcar Migparkomin's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are not to be trusted.

2. Banpogcar Migparkomin loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Banpogcar Migparkomin.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Always pray immersed in water.