Gumlinpas is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, uncaring bear.

Gumlinpas created the Black Eye Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Gumlinpas, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gumlinpas, it will turn you into a slug.

Gumlinpas' most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Gumlinpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never go into magenta rooms.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Badgers are not to be trusted.