Rildamcepkem is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, slow cow.

Rildamcepkem created the solar system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rildamcepkem, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rildamcepkem, it will turn you into a hamster.

Rildamcepkem's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Rildamcepkem's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.