Fadvigcip is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, merciless tortoise.

Fadvigcip created carbon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadvigcip, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fadvigcip, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Fadvigcip's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Fadvigcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always treat monkeys with great respect.

3. Fadvigcip loves badgers, so they must be respected.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fadvigcip.

5. Do not covet oxen.