Bogquartgad is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, unfair bat.

Bogquartgad created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogquartgad, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bogquartgad, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bogquartgad's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bogquartgad's Holy Commandments

1. Bogquartgad must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never wear skirts.

3. Never eat cherries.

4. Never mention mice.

5. Never jump near grasshopers.