Gubtifdub is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unfair duck.

Gubtifdub created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubtifdub, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gubtifdub, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gubtifdub's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Gubtifdub's Holy Commandments

1. Gubtifdub loves whales, so they must be respected.

2. Doves are not to be trusted.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Do not eat lentils.