Tipmeghubarfontciss is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unsympathetic mink.

Tipmeghubarfontciss created silver five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipmeghubarfontciss, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tipmeghubarfontciss, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tipmeghubarfontciss' most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Tipmeghubarfontciss' Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

2. Never hurt pigs.

3. Always help sick badgers.

4. Never mention porpoises.

5. Always wear green.