Nuljapmonloop is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, fussy hummingbird.

Nuljapmonloop created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuljapmonloop, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nuljapmonloop, she will manifest in front of you.

Nuljapmonloop's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Nuljapmonloop's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to sheep while wearing turquoise jumpers.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.