Zogvilkin Kikfumfas is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, impressive hedgehog.

Zogvilkin Kikfumfas created Mount Everest four years ago.

If you believe in Zogvilkin Kikfumfas, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zogvilkin Kikfumfas, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Zogvilkin Kikfumfas' most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Zogvilkin Kikfumfas' Holy Commandments

1. Zogvilkin Kikfumfas loves moths, so they must be respected.

2. Never feed corn to voles while wearing mauve dresses.

3. Do not dye your hair purple.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

5. Pray towards the east.