Jopjammab Lipspag is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, selfish hare.

Jopjammab Lipspag created the cosmos four million years ago.

If you believe in Jopjammab Lipspag, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jopjammab Lipspag, she will turn you into a hamster.

Jopjammab Lipspag's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Jopjammab Lipspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never sit near mites.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.
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