Pograpbass is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, clever cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Pograpbass created the Large Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pograpbass, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pograpbass, she will turn you into a snail.

Pograpbass' most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Pograpbass' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about gooseberries.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never go into gray rooms.

4. Always look after injured rats.

5. You must love Pograpbass.