Pakfittar is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, calm raven.

Pakfittar created a charm quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pakfittar, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pakfittar, it will turn you into a hamster.

Pakfittar's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Pakfittar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

5. Always obey Pakfittar's priests.