Lakarffig is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, quiet meerkat.

Lakarffig created oxygen six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakarffig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lakarffig, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Lakarffig's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Lakarffig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Hide if seven frogs approach from the north.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Lakarffig on top of all buildings.

5. Put Lakarffig first in all things.