Sagpophab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, witty hedgehog.

Sagpophab created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Sagpophab, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sagpophab, he will turn you into a snail.

Sagpophab's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Sagpophab's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Sagpophab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.