Gamdanjarn Pigcimvagbugsat is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, annoying gnu.

Gamdanjarn Pigcimvagbugsat created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamdanjarn Pigcimvagbugsat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gamdanjarn Pigcimvagbugsat, it will turn you into a slug.

Gamdanjarn Pigcimvagbugsat's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Gamdanjarn Pigcimvagbugsat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick manatees.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Gamdanjarn Pigcimvagbugsat on top of all buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gamdanjarn Pigcimvagbugsat.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.