Kikzigqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, impressive badger.

Kikzigqueeg created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikzigqueeg, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kikzigqueeg, he will turn you into a frog.

Kikzigqueeg's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Kikzigqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kikzigqueeg.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. You must love Kikzigqueeg.