Cimvannull Zakvogbafstikvilpan Matbotcab is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, omniscient cow.

Cimvannull Zakvogbafstikvilpan Matbotcab created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cimvannull Zakvogbafstikvilpan Matbotcab, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cimvannull Zakvogbafstikvilpan Matbotcab, she will be mildly annoyed.

Cimvannull Zakvogbafstikvilpan Matbotcab's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Cimvannull Zakvogbafstikvilpan Matbotcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.