Quaf is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, uncaring bat.

Quaf created the planet Earth four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaf, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Quaf, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Quaf's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Quaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray ear rings.

2. Run away if three whales approach from the west.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never think about comets.

5. Feed all hungry dolphins.