Pitkonjon Yakcubtab Timbossbod is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, omnipotent meerkat.

Pitkonjon Yakcubtab Timbossbod created dark matter five million years ago.

If you believe in Pitkonjon Yakcubtab Timbossbod, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pitkonjon Yakcubtab Timbossbod, it will jump up and down on your head.

Pitkonjon Yakcubtab Timbossbod's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Pitkonjon Yakcubtab Timbossbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help voles in need.

5. Never laugh in holy places.