Nurlzimxin is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, ruthless meerkat.

Nurlzimxin created the Sun two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlzimxin, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurlzimxin, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nurlzimxin's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Nurlzimxin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never think ill of sick cats.

3. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Do not speak about oranges.