Kikquatstig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, fussy cow.

Kikquatstig created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kikquatstig, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kikquatstig, she will make you grow a tail.

Kikquatstig's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Kikquatstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about doves.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.