Kambelltan is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, pitiless crocodile.

Kambelltan created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kambelltan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kambelltan, she will turn you into a frog.

Kambelltan's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Kambelltan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Do not hurt geese.

4. Do not take Kambelltan's name in vain.

5. Do not chop down trees.