Tadnarlfet is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, merciless spider.

Tadnarlfet created energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tadnarlfet, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tadnarlfet, it will strike you with lightening.

Tadnarlfet's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Tadnarlfet's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always treat squirrels with great respect.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Retreat if six nematodes approach from the north.

5. Always help great tits.