Zakhivdad is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, conceited shrew.

Zakhivdad created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakhivdad, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zakhivdad, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Zakhivdad's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Zakhivdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never feed nuts to nematodes while wearing turquoise shorts.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Always wear gray.